Bereavement

You were my savior, my petite love, my flower
A gift unparalleled by anything in this world
Endless yet transient moments stolen to dream of you
Little did either of us know…

It was a lovely evening, the sunset weaving ribbons of flame
the wisps of cloud refracting a thousand jeweled hues
I sat carefree upon my couch, a universally idyllic moment
Had I but said yes…

Step back, fall back, relive time now mislaid
You asked me if I wished to accompany you that night
"Darling, feel like having a great time?" Your words re-echo in my mind
I had work, unimportant in this new, funereal light
"Sorry babe, I'll pass tonight." My words a scourge most severe

I dithered my evening away, unaware, dreadfully unaware
I saw the news first, a car accident, none dead, one critical
That the one was a girl with your description just passed me by
I called, later, received an answer, though not from you
Your mother was kind enough to pick up your phone

It's a joke, a terrible joke.

I'm dreaming.

This cannot be real.

Her raw, genuine grief cut through my shock and denial swifter than a blade.

I cannot remember the drive to the hospital; a frenzy of fear and grief
An instant later to my frenetic mind I'm talking to a doctor.
I know him, I respect him.
Right now I hate his words, and him by extension

"Say what you're going to say, son. Her odds…"

You were so small, the crash shrank you
delicate limbs made of spun glass
Lovely face now carmine and ivory
You would live, I knew you would live

But you didn't.